youmake-kittyscared:

I don’t want a sugar daddy but can I have like a sugar auntie? Just a sweet old woman who gives me money cus she knows I’m going through it and she believes in me and her grandkids don’t ever call so she writes me in her will.

hijerking:

hijerking:

guys have you ever seen how you weigh a baby giraffe

isn’t life great

vaguette:

when the other person starts flirting first

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself